Will I Find Love? Top 5 things you need to do to make that a yes!
By Antoine G Larosiliere
With the world dealing with a pandemic and the dating scene taking such a big hit; the question I keep hearing from single people is “will I find love?”
Some of us have dealt with so much disappointment and hurt that we no longer believe in finding love. Truth is, if you’re reading this article, you haven’t given up yet. With so many dysfunctions in relationships, even married people are asking will I find love? Well, as long as we are alive and breathing there is always hope for love. Many years ago I asked myself the same question and it was a journey to find the answer. You asked, “will I find love?” The answer is yes; but you must become love. To do that; you have to learn how to forgive, how to love yourself, become more resilient, enhance and apply your understanding of “The Laws of Attraction,” and be patient.
“You don’t want a toxic love no more than you want to be alone.”
#1 Learn how to forgive
What’s the point of finding love if when you find it, it ends up being toxic? You don’t want a toxic love no more than you want to be alone. Well, how can you put yourself in position to find healthy love? To remove the likelihood of being in a toxic relationship, you must remove the toxicity within you. That toxicity is called anger and bitterness. Your anger and bitterness come from people who have hurt you, that you haven’t forgiven. Forgiving the people who hurt you is part of the healing process. If you don’t take the time to heal, healthy forms of love will unfortunately elude you. But the truth is, forgiving is a lot harder than we realize. Sometimes we’re harder on ourselves and may also need to forgive ourselves. We often have received hurt that we felt we allowed or contributed to, and it’s imperative to release this hurt. For more insight to the five crucial steps on forgiving yourself or others; check out the article “What Are The Steps To Forgiveness.”
“you must love yourself first before you can love someone else,” but what does that really mean?
#2 Learn to love yourself
Many of us come from dysfunctional upbringings. Some of us were taught self hate, and self doubt that often leads to insecurities and voids. But even worse, is that many of us don’t realize we have these voids and therefore don’t realize this work needs to be done. We all by now have heard forever “you must love yourself first before you can love someone else,” but what does that really mean? Loving yourself is the process of valuing who you are and enjoying your own company. Sounds easy enough right, but this process takes time and concerted efforts. This process increases your self worth, and improves your self esteem. If you don’t do this work; the love you will deploy in your future relationships will continue to be selfish and conditional. Selfish because you will place unwanted expectations on people who can’t meet those expectations. Conditional because you will love, only to get loved back; But “real love” is a free gift.
#3 Learn to become more resilient
You’re probably wondering, what does being resilient have anything to do with finding love? Once you find love, you need to be resilient to grow your love and keep it. Healthy, loving relationships have their struggles like everything else. Those struggles challenge the love to grow and become a foundation of trust and devotion. Those challenges cannot be met without resilience. Resilience will not only encourage finding love, but it also will give us the strength to embrace love and endure it’s challenges. The issue is, becoming more resilient is a process some of us never fully see all the way through. It requires introspection, and introspection requires courage. The courage to be honest with yourself and admit your faults and shortcomings. Becoming more resilient will also alter your perspective on love, where you will no longer see failed relationships as losses. For more insight to six life changing steps on becoming more resilient; check out the article “How Can I Become More Resilient.”
#4 Enhance your understanding of “The Laws Of Attraction”
There is an understanding that no matter what your religious beliefs are, we all are affected by the laws that govern the universe. One of those laws is “The Law of Attraction.” It is commonly known as the ability to attract into your life whatever you focus on. Those focused thoughts become actions, and those actions evoke a particular energy. This energy often dictates who your mate or love interest will be. Yes, opposite personalities are attracted to one another, but I’m not referring to your personalities. Similar energies are attracted to one another as well. One of the major hurdles in finding a loving relationship is that this is difficult for many people to accept. Most of the time we say things like, “I don’t know why I keep attracting these jerks.” Or, “My ex was nothing like me, he/she had too many issues.” Most, if not all of the time; these statements lack true introspection. We attract people who have similar voids and insecurities. These voids and insecurities manifest themselves into particular behaviors, thoughts and words used; and we often find comfort in others who emit those same things. Having an in-depth understanding on why we attract these people, will force us to change the things inside us that’s drawing us to them. Targeting and eliminating the qualities that attract the people we don’t want, will draw us closer to the kind of love we do want and need.
#5 Be patient
It takes time to find a healthy, loving relationship. All this work that needs to be done takes years, and don’t be discouraged by the length of the journey. You must remain committed to growth and evoking what love is. In other words, to find love, you must become love. What that means is by learning how to forgive, love yourself, become more resilient and patient; you become anger free, void free and patient enough to attract a healthy kind of love. Because “real love” is anger free, resilient, patient, and not manipulated by voids and insecurities. I found love, when I became love. I hope this has been helpful. Also visit my YouTube channel for more insight to these topics.
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