Will Bullying Ever Go Away? The answer should be obvious.
By Antoine G Larosiliere
I’m an educator and anti-bullying speaker, and recently a student asked me, “will bullying ever go away?”
If you thought this student was asking a rhetorical question, you’re not alone. Truth be told, I’m not sure what is the frank, yet polite way to answer the question; will bullying ever go away? So, I’ll just be frank. Bullying will never, ever go away. It is part of human nature, built into every system we have in place. Technology has globally expanded bullying’s impact, most people aren’t healing from their abuse and anti-bullying programs aren’t enough.
“Bullying has existed since the evolution of the human race.”
It’s part of human nature.
I’m an educator, and the education world will have you believe bullying is something new that only existed in modern times. That’s just simply not true. Unfortunately, bullying has existed since the evolution of the human race. If you haven’t noticed human nature is duplicit. There is good and bad in all of us. Sometimes the bad parts surface and get the better of us. This is where bullying comes into play. And I’m sure you know those people who act and believe they’re better than you, stronger, smarter, or better looking; who’s to say you’re not one of those people. Having those beliefs will sometimes trigger that person to impose this superiority on others and hurt them indirectly or directly. Whether it’s aggressive or passive; it’s bullying. And it is in our nature to feel pleasure at someone else’s pain or misfortune. One study shows that segregating ourselves comes naturally, while another study shows children naturally discriminate against what’s different (Gluszek, 2010).
It’s built into our systems
Experts say, at the core of bullying is this imbalance of power; I don’t disagree with that. But what I would like to point out is that this imbalance of power exists in every american institution of system. Our country was built on slavery, what greater imballance of power can you have than that? But it doesn’t end there. Our judicial system, law enforcement, educational system, banking system, our health care systems; even our systems of sports and entertainment are set up to disproportionately tip the balance of power towards one group. America was founded and built on bullying, which was passed down to them from the british; and the british learned it from the great bully nations before them. Even every war that was ever fought; it was because one country tried to bully another.
People aren’t healing.
According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, a person is abused in the United States every 9 seconds. The American Society for the Positive Care of Children says, “a report of child abuse is made every 10 seconds.” The Department of Justice reports, 1 in 4 women and 1 out of 6 men are sexually abused in their lifetime. If we’re truthful with ourselves; we all can remember either witnessing abuse, being victims of it or being the aggressor at some point in our lives. The main reason why bullying has and will always exist is because most of us are victims of abuse. But more important than that, we simply just aren’t healing from this abuse. It’s not because we can’t, It’s just we’re not willing to. We don’t have the courage to admit to ourselves that we are still hurting. And if we do realize it, we fail to see how this hurt has impacted our quality of life. Therefore, there’s no motivation to fix us. Unfortunately, by the time we realize how it could potentially affect our quality of life; there’s a horrific school shooting or some teen or pre-teen commit suicide. By then, it’s too late.
Anti Bullying programs can help but aren’t enough.
If you’re thinking, “what about all the anti-bullying programs, they should help.” Well, in my estimation; the right ones do help, but it’s not nearly enough. There are so many anti-bullying books, movies, and programs available and yet, bullying; especially cyber bullying is still a huge problem. Hazing in schools still exist, school shooting occurrences are increasing, and anti-racist movements in colleges also still exist. School-wide programs are expensive and many schools can’t afford them. Most schools take the cheap way out, so they can at least look like they’re addressing the problem. But the other problem is their effectiveness. According to Researcher Laura M. Cothers, anti-bullying programs don’t work for teenagers, because their free will and critical thinking skills makes them take it as a joke. In another study, researcher Amanda Oglesby found that “a higher percentage of students who attended schools with anti-bullying programs had reported experiencing more bullying than schools without programs; which is proof that anti-bullying programs don’t work.” All these factors, including gender, socioeconomic status and culture make it difficult for anti-bullying programs to work; and can never be effective enough to bring an end to bullying.
Technology has made it globally accessible to bully.
In a study by the Pew Research Center, 95% of teens are connected to the internet, and 85% are social media users. And in the U.S. alone, 40% of adults have personally experienced online harassment and 75% of adults have witnessed cyberbullying occurring around them. Technology and the internet has transformed bullying in ways we couldn’t have imagined. In the past, you just had to worry about bullying and harassment from the people in your home, community, school or workplace. And when the bullying did occur, it was in isolation. In other words, for the most part; it stayed where the bullying occured. If you are bullied at school, those same taunts or other antics don’t follow you home. Today; technology, the internet and an increase in coverage, because of 24/7 media outlets; the classroom audience has turned into a stadium, and your local community into a global community. Bullying is no longer kept in isolation, it can follow you anywhere you go, and can last longer. What happens to you in the classroom can be recorded and broadcast to the world, and whatever you post can last forever. According to a Google survey, “teachers report that cyberbullying is their #1 safety concern in their classrooms” (January 2019). No wonder school shootings and teen suicides have continued to increase at an alarming rate. It’s a lot harder to be resilient, when hundreds, maybe thousands, and sometimes millions of people are laughing at you.
Will bullying ever go away? Once again, the answer is an emphatic no! Every playground, classroom, and everyone at some point in their lives has either been bullied, or has been the bully. This has always been so, and I can’t see a reason why that will ever change. Hopefully this article has been helpful. Also visit my YouTube channel for more insight to these topics.
The Bully Experience "Daniel's Story"
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