How To Defeat a Workplace Bully? (Read this before you go back to work)
By Antoine G Larosiliere
If you’ve ever been bullied on the job, you probably tried to figure out how to defeat a workplace bully.
Every workplace has them. It doesn’t matter if you’re working remotely, or in person, in a small office setting or in a large factory. Bullies are everywhere, maybe even in the cubicle next to yours. With the impact they can have on you and your workplace, it’s in our best interest to learn how to defeat a workplace bully. Workplace bullies just aren’t all alike, so in this article you’ll discover a specific strategy for each workplace bully type.
Strategy for the “Two Face” work Bully, “The Wannabe” and Mr./Ms. Thirsty.
Deception is the main tool of this two faced bully. They act like they’re your friend, but in reality they are the enemy. Mr./Ms Thirsty aka “The Brown noser,” as well as “The Wannabe” likes to be the center of attention and they will befriend you then betray you to get the attention they seek. To defeat these bullies, try the following…
- If you do befriend them withhold personal information.
- If you ignore them initially, they are not a problem. They will only stick around people who will provide the attention they seek.
- When they betray you, do not get upset.
- Focus on your performance.
- Laugh at the accusation and discredit its accuracy.
- Don’t retaliate.
- Don’t let the bully know what you’ve heard.
- Do not reveal your true thoughts and feelings to them. They will continue to expose themselves.
- By not revealing what you know, your co-workers will continue to bring you more information about what is being said and planned. This will put you in position to counter any plans against you.
- Slowly distance yourself from them, never allowing yourself to be readily available to them.
- Document everything abusive.
If the bully isn’t a manager, or friends with the manager; speak with the manager. - If it continues after you speak with the manager, talk to your HR person.
- If it still continues, look for a new job.
“they will befriend you then betray you to get the attention they seek.”
Strategy for “The Critic” aka “The Hater.”
This bully always has a negative comment. It’s usually unnecessary and unwarranted. To effectively deal with this workplace bully, you must…
- Do not get upset at the critic or retaliate.
- If you must respond to this “hater,” express your concern and add in some compliments. Say things like, “not everyone can write as well as you,” or “I’m trying to execute the way you do but, apparently it’s not as easy as it looks.” Not only will this reverse the bully’s intentions, but they will also lose the motivation to keep criticising you.
- Document every abusive comment towards you.
- Gather evidence.
- If it continues, go speak with a supervisor.
- If the supervisor is ineffective, go to your HR person.
Strategy for the office “witch.”
This bully is rude, loud, and obnoxiously annoying. Their specialty is humiliating people with words, tone, facial expressions, and actions. Even their disposition makes you uneasy. To effectively deal with this workplace bully, you must…
- Limit your interactions with them.
- Never take what they say personally. You’re not the only one who this bully is attacking on a regular basis.
- Try to understand that they are not attacking you, they are attacking what you represent. You represent an opportunity for them to feel better about themselves.
- When they do attack you, don’t retaliate or get upset.
- Try to respond with an understanding tone and end it with a compliment.
- Document every abusive comment towards you.
- Gather evidence.
- If it continues, go speak with a supervisor.
- If the supervisor is ineffective, go to your HR person.
Strategy for the “Gatekeeper.”
This bully has a false sense of importance in the workplace and likes to have control on whether co-workers fail or succeed. To effectively deal with this bully, try…
- Speaking up and expressing your concerns to the bully.
- Documenting everything and saving whatever evidence you can.
- Being pleasant when they proceed to deny you the resources you need.
- If that doesn’t work, review your workplace policies against bullying.
- Seeing management to express your concerns.
- If management fails to do anything, seek legal guidance.
- Start looking for a new job.
Strategy for the passive-aggressive bully.
This workplace bully uses sarcasm, backhanded compliments, misdirection and subtle forms of sabotage to make a coworkers life miserable. To effectively deal with this bully, you must…
- Say thank you at the backhanded compliment.
- Let them see you smile after.
- Reply with your own backhanded comment.
- Document all of their wrongdoings.
- Speak with them privately about your concerns.
- Don’t attack them.
- Expect them to play “victim,” or play “innocent.”
- Review your anti-bullying workplace policies.
- If nothing changes, go speak to management and bring all your documentation and evidence.
This strategy is for “The Sociopath” aka “The Narcissist.”
They are the most dangerous bullies because they are charismatic, intelligent, but expert manipulators, compulsive liars and unempathetic. To deal with these bullies, you need to…
- Document all inappropriate comments and abusive actions.
- Gather as much evidence as possible.
- Review the anti bullying policies at your workplace.
- Make an appointment to speak with human resources.
- Seek legal counsel.
- Look for another job.
Addressing workplace bullies can be uncomfortable. Employers should put a stop to the destructive behavior as quickly as possible. Toxic employees create conflict, destroy morale and negatively impact employee’ productivity. For more information on how to deal with workplace bullying, consult your employee handbook on the topic. I hope that this has been helpful. Also visit my YouTube channel for more insight to these topics.
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