Are Narcissists Bullies? Let's make this clear once and for all.
By Antoine G Larosiliere
After spending time with a family member who’s a narcissist; I can’t help but wonder, are narcissists bullies?
Bullies prey on the weak. The low self-esteem, smaller, less confident, less popular, poorer, quieter person who usually doesn’t see the bullying coming.
It’s not everyday you come across a narcissist, but everywhere you go you’ll find bullies. Bullies people who are hurt and go out of their way to make us feel and look bad, but are they narcissists? Narcissists could be some of the most manipulating, controlling, entitled, toxic people in the world, but are narcissists bullies? The simple answer is yes! Narcissists are some of the worst bullies you’ll ever meet. But let’s dive deeper into this answer.
What is a narcissist?
According to the Mayo Clinic, a narcissist is someone who was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder(NPD). NPD is a mental condition where the individual has an inflated sense of their own importance, an exorbitant need for attention and admiration and a lack of empathy for others. A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as romantic relationships, social gatherings, the workplace, and school.
What is a bully?
A bully is a person who consistently engages in the act of bullying. So then, what is bullying? According to Stopbullying.gov, bullying is an unwanted, aggressive, repeated or a potentially repeatable behavior that involves an imbalance of power. Bullying is a global problem that affects children and adults alike in all walks of life.
Are narcissists bullies?
All narcissists are bullies, but not all bullies are narcissists. All narcissists fit the profile of the classic bullies. They repeatedly conspire, attack, and prey on the vulnerable, usually the people closest to them. Bullies on the other hand don’t all have the sense of entitlement, the superiority complex and the obsession with perfection narcissists have.
How are they the same?
Although some bullies are not narcissists, they do have some major similarities. The obvious similarities are that they both harass, intimidate, exclude, sabotage, and humiliate you consistently. The most important similarities they have are that…
- They both lack empathy: Teaching empathy is one of the main strategies that is used when dealing with bullying. Research has found that people bully due to their lack of empathy for others. Studies also show that one of the reasons bystanders don’t seek help is also due to their lack of empathy. A narcissist also lacks empathy but combining that with their sense of entitlement makes them even more dangerous.
- They both need to control others: In every bullying situation exists an imbalance of power. The bully tries to control the victims behavior or emotions. Narcissists try to control the victim by making them believe they are superior and should be treated as such. Narcissist’s superiority complex and sense of entitlement justifies why they should be incontrol.
- They both also fear the same things: The narcissist and the bully both fear being exposed. Narcissists are cowards who are subconsciously terrified of themselves and anyone who might see them for who they really are. Their main focus is to protect themselves from situations that would trigger their subconscious sense of inferiority. Clinical psychologist Mary C. Lama describes bullies as “Shame is what a bully attempts to hide,” and that their anxiety is centered around the exposure of their shortcomings or insecurities.
How are they different?
It’s clear that even though narcissism and bullying are different; they have a lot more in common. They both also have a profound impact on friends, family and coworkers. But there are three qualities that truly separate them from one another.
- Some bullies don’t have a sense of entitlement: A bullies motive is to control you, but they don’t always feel as if they’re entitled to control you. They’re trying to hide their inability to control their own lives, by controlling you.
- Some bullies don’t have a superiority complex: Some bullies have perceived inferior qualities that they’re aware of. Their awareness of those qualities makes them feel inferior to others. In turn, they try to make others feel how they feel. Doing this gives them a sense of not being alone.
- Some bullies aren’t perfectionists: For the most part, bullies don’t care about everything being perfect, and some definitely don’t care whether you think they’re perfect or not. They just want to make your life miserable, and controlling how you feel and making you miserable don’t require any perfection.
Dealing with a narcissist or a bully both have their own challenges. Both can have devastating effects on the aggressor, the victim and the bystanders involved. If you need assistance in dealing with a narcissist or bully, please seek professional help. I hope this has been helpful. Also visit my YouTube channel for more insight to these topics.
Spread the word!
The Bully Experience "Daniel's Story"
Sign up for our newsletter and Read the novel For Free!
Stay updated. Sign up for our newsletter, and get the first two chapters of The Bully Experience Daniel’s Story absolutely free.