What Can You Do If You’re Being Bullied? (Step 1)
By Antoine G Larosiliere
These are some of the things I’ve heard in my experiences as a father, teacher, and friend.
“We make fun of each other all the time, he never seemed to have a problem with it.”
“I don’t know why she’s crying, I was only playing.”
“I thought if I said something, it would make things worse.”
“When he touched me, I froze. I didn’t know what to do.”
Times have changed; and the answer to the question, “What can you do if you’re being bullied,” has also changed.
Bullying is an Unwanted behavior
I’m not going to waste your time defining bullying, when you can go to bullying.gov or some other government website. But I would like to focus on the “unwanted” part of the definition. So, what do you do if you’re being bullied? What do you do when someone is teasing or making fun of you? What if they’re grabbing your belongings or, even worse, putting their hands on you? What’s the very first thing you should do, before you walk away? Before you go and tell someone and even before you make the wrong choice and punch them in the face? How do you let them know this kind of behavior is “unwanted?”
The not-so-obvious response
The obvious answer is to say, “stop.” But if it’s so obvious and people are actually saying “stop,” why are so many people dealing with long term bullying? Because in many instances, they aren’t saying “stop.” Some people are afraid to say anything that might challenge their tormentors. Some think it would make things worse. Some are uncomfortable expressing their discomfort. The victims at times, are not used to these situations so they’re unsure of how to respond. Some just hope if they pretend it’s not happening, maybe it will just go away. Some want to be liked so bad, they figure “If I let them have their fun, maybe they’ll see that I’m cool.”
In some instances the attacks will worsen.
If any of those versions are you, listen to me, “it’s not going to happen!” If you’re really hoping it will go away, the truth is the opposite will happen. You are setting the stage for it to continue. As a matter of fact, in some instances, the attacks will worsen, because the bullies see your lack of abolishment as some sort of silent approval. By allowing this to continue, they will not think you’re cool and they will not begin to like you. They will actually lose even more respect for You. You will be perceived as a push-over, sucker, or coward, by them, their friends and others.
“Let me say this again! Leave nothing to interpretation!”
According to stopbullying.gov, about “20% of students ages 12-18 experienced bullying nationwide.”
What to do…
So, What can you do if you’re being bullied? Your only realistic choice of a healthy survival is to say, “stop!” Let me say this again! Leave nothing to interpretation! Some people at times are unaware that their behavior is not welcomed so, open your mouth and say “Stop!” Also throw in an “I don’t like it” for good measure. It’s your first chance to earn some respect. It’s your first opportunity to make it stop. That doesn’t mean it will. But the ones whose intention isn’t to hurt or bring displeasure to you will modify their behavior going forward. I hope this has been helpful. Many strategies including the one I just mentioned can also be found in the novel “The Bully Experience” Daniel’s Story. Also subscribe to the YouTube channel for more insight to these topics.
The Bully Experience "Daniel's Story"
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