What Are Most Kids Bullied About? Obvious or Not?
By Antoine G Larosiliere
As parents, we are inherently protective. When we think of protecting our children, one of the questions that comes to mind is, “What are most kids bullied about?”
When your child comes home crying because they’re being bullied, it is a horrible feeling for a parent. Unfortunately I had to bear witness to it, and I’m sure some of you reading this article have as well. In search of answers, we often beat ourselves up and begin to wonder, “What are most kids bullied about?” Wouldn’t it be great if we knew, so we as parents can take some preventative measures? Well, I did some research. What are most kids bullied about? In most cases, kids are bullied about their appearance. They’re often bullied if they look different, whether it’s physically, in the way they dress, or the way they carry themselves. Children who are perceived as weak, unwilling to defend themselves or having self-esteem or confidence issues are likely to get bullied as well. Children who are socially awkward or have few friends are also often targets of bullying.
Who generally gets bullied?
Generally speaking, the kids who are targeted or more pre-dispositioned to get bullied fit a certain profile.
- Kids who look different:
- Children who are overweight, underweight, very tall, very short, wear glasses, dress differently and so on…
- Children who are seen unable or unwilling to defend themselves.
- Children who have low self-esteem and little to no confidence.
- Kids who are not popular, or tend to have few friends.
- Kids who are confrontational, socially awkward, or seen as obnoxious or annoying.
“if they do get bullied, it will likely be because of their physical appearance”
It will likely be because of their physical appearance
Now that you have a general overview of the type of kids that have a higher probability to get bullied, it doesn’t mean they will. But if they do get bullied, it will likely be because of their physical appearance. According to research found on Nveee.org, 61% of teens reported being bullied because of appearance. In another study done by McAfee, victims were asked what caused their cyberbullying incident. Roughly about 72% of responders said it was their appearance.
I don’t want my child to succumb to superficial standards.
The world is a very superficial and ugly place. Most people seem to be preoccupied with greed, selfishness, and superficial standards of beauty and success. Unfortunately this is the world you and I (and every other parent) live in. With that being said, we have some difficult decisions to make in raising children in this type of society. What is the best way to protect our children from bullying? How can we prepare our children to not be victims? Now that we know their appearance will likely be the reason they’re targeted; how do we make things easier for them?
A matter of personal preference
If you feel that you don’t want you and your child to succumb to the misguided, Eurocentric, patriarchal standards of beauty in this society, I get that. If you want your child to build resilience through individuality, and confidence; that is wonderful. My personal approach would be somewhat conforming to the standard of beauty just so my child isn’t a glaring target. I would also encourage some individuality as their confidence begins to grow. In general there are some things we can do to help our children with being less of a target. They say perception is everything, well below is a list of strategies to alter those perceptions.
Give your child a make-over: A new haircut, “cooler” clothes, dental braces, contact lenses. This is a temporary fix, that will buy your child time to build confidence and improve their self esteem. Real confidence and a high self esteem takes years to build.
Start exercising: Encourage your child to start exercising regularly. Exercising regularly helps them to become more fit, and being more fit usually leads to improved confidence. Exercising will also give them insight to maintaining a healthy lifestyle and a more resilient mindset. I’m a father of two boys, and I always exercise with them as a form of motivation and comradery.
Join a team sport or activity. Joining a team whether it be athletic or not is a great opportunity to make new friends. Finding an you enjoy and possibly thrive in also is a great platform for building confidence and self esteem.
Seek other avenues of interest: Join a gaming community, chess club, debate club, poetry club, dance classes, create a youtube channel ect… This will also create other opportunities for friendships. They will have a broader base of children they have things in common with. They’ll become more well-rounded and become better at peer collaboration.
Take self-defense or martial arts classes: Self defense or martial arts classes happen to be great confidence builders. Many times the reason why some children walk with their head down and minimize eye contact is because they are not sure how to protect themselves if an encounter becomes aggressive. Being able to protect yourself physically alleviates those anxieties and promotes confidence in routine encounters.
Set up play-dates: Playdate can be worthwhile engagements to create new friendships and develop social skills. Having as many good friends as possible greatly diminishes the likelihood of being a target.
Project confidence: Even if you’re not confident yet, you must learn how to project it. Practice standing tall, making eye contact, don’t drag your feet, and do not hunch your back even when you’re sitting.
Teach coping skills or responses: Teach your child coping skills and responses that are aimed at reversing the imbalance of power that exists in bullying situations. Use those strategies to role play at home with your child so they are prepared. Many of those coping skills and responses can be found in the article entry…What are some good comebacks for bullies?
I hope this has been helpful! Many strategies including the one I just mentioned can also be found in the novel The Bully Experience: Daniel’s Story . Also subscribe to the YouTube channel for more insight to these topi
The Bully Experience "Daniel's Story"
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